Steal This Car!

My folks have been here all week and we always enjoy having them. I always worry a bit when they travel because they drive down in my dad's dream car; a 1985 Lincoln Town Car. If you remember the infamous Exxon Valdez, this car is about as large, handles as well and leaks about the same amount of oil as it did. We noticed some drips of oil on our driveway, so we figured, let's make sure all the vital fluids are topped off for the ride back. Since I couldn't find the transmission fluid dipstick, we took it to the local Ford dealer. I think there were audible gasps as we drove up. It must have been like seeing a World War I Fokker Tri-plane land next to a field of F-22 Raptors. I ran past a few salesmen with their mouths agape to ask someone in the service department to help me find the transmission fluid dipstick. By the time I came out, a salesman was already giving my mom his card and offering to buy the car from her. I think he was shocked when my mother informed him that they were keeping the car.

My dad loves this car; duct tape on the glovebox, chrome peeling off the bumper, AM/FM cassette player, no safety features of any kind and all. He thinks the car is worth around $15,000. He was shattered when he found out that it's true value is $683.

I thought about leaving the keys in it with the windows open overnight while they were here. Maybe next time they visit, I'll have to park it in DC.