Monday, December 22, 2008

The Amazing Mr. Claus


On Sunday, we had Christmas: Part I. Part I is "Baba and Gigi Christmas". If you don't know, Baba and Gigi is the anglicized way of saying Grandma and Grandpa in Ukrainian. We also have "Home Christmas" (Part II), ""Uncle Pete & Aunt Karen Christmas (Part III), "Papa Duke and Grandma Rose Christmas" (Part III, which is usually actually December 25th), and "Gran Christmas (Part IV). By December 27th, I'm usually ready for some Easter eggs. I'm Christmas-ed out. Not to say I don't enjoy every minute of it. I just goes on longer than my self proclaimed "Mike's Birthday Week Celebration", which comes around every fourth week of September or so.

Anyway... after Christmas Pt. I, we decided to go look at some Christmas lights. As we were heading out of my parent's driveway, I heard the local fire trucks blaring their sirens. I knew that it was Santa's night to ride the truck. We drove over a block pulled over, and waited for St. Nick to drive by. It was 14°. It was windy. He was riding on top of the fire truck. For a guy who lives at the North Pole, he looked pretty damned cold. The kids loved it as he drove by and they waved and screamed. What could be better; fire trucks, sirens, flashing lights and Santa.

We decided we'd check out the local Griswald house and drove to the other side of town, which took all of four minutes; maybe. You can find it because the amount of electricity it uses make an audible hum as you get within four or five blocks. We've driven past this place before; in previous years and earlier this year. The kids were excited and we slowly drove up the the house. Then a very un-Christmasy thought went through my head. "Oh, shit! It's Santa! ...and Mrs. Claus!"

Yes, as we pulled up in front of the house Santa himself and the lovely Mrs. Claus came up to great us. I immediately hear the gears turning in Clay's head, "Hey how did he get here so fast? Where's the fire truck? Why wasn't she with him on the truck? Why doesn't he have glasses like he did four minutes ago?!?"

Quickly, I jump out and say, "Santa! Wow, those firemen really got you here quickly!" Santa looks at me like, "Dude, have you had too much eggnog tonight? Should you really be driving?" Before he can say anything I say, "Man, we just saw you riding on the fire truck on the other end of town and you beat us here!" Santa suddenly remembered that he had just arrived. I also reminded him that he needed to drop off the boys' presents in Virginia. Luckily, he regained his memory about that too.

That Santa, a little forgetful but awful fast.

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