Popcorn

"Space Chimps". What could be wrong with that. It has two of my favorite things; Space and Chimps. The only thing that could be better would be "Space Chimps delivering Hooters' Wings with a free MacBook Pro". Heaven.

Clay has wanted to see this movie since he saw the first commercial months ago. So I decided to give Nancy a few hours of peace and quiet while I took him to see this potential Academy Award winning flick. As we enter the theater lobby, Clay immediately is disinterested in the movie and wants to play video games. All the games he wants to play are racing games and he is far too short to reach the pedals; thankfully.

I break him from the trance of quarter-swallowing electronic crack by telling him that we needed to get some snacks for the movie. "Clay do you want any popcorn?"

"No, I want that Batman thing!", as he points to Malted Milk Balls with the Batman logo on it.

"You're not going to like Malted Milk Balls. How 'bout some popcorn?"

"No Daddy, I want that Batman thing!", as he points to Milk Duds.

"No, Clay, you're no going to like those. How about some popcorn?"

"I don't want any popcorn!"

"OK, how about M&Ms or Twizzelers?"

"I want Starburst!"

"OK, you can get some Starburst. Are you sure you don't want any popcorn?"

"Goddammit Daddy! No Freakin' Popcorn!!!"

OK, well he didn't say that, but he again told me of his lack of desire for any type of warm, buttery corn-based snack product. So, I order a small one for myself. As we pass the "Popcorn Flavoring Station" I start sprinkling on cheddar cheese flavored salt. "Daddy, what's that?" "Cheddar cheese flavored salt". "Yuck! I hate cheddar cheese salt!" I tell him that since he doesn't want any popcorn, he shouldn't care what I put on it.

We settle in for the movie, and just as the first preview is about to start Clay says, "Daddy, I want some popcorn!" FIne. By the time "Space Chimps" starts, he has devoured most of the bag. "I guess I don't like cheddar cheese salt too much, but I'll eat the popcorn anyway", he says. I'll learn next time.

Oh, and the movie. Awful is not a strong enough word. It looks like it was made on cutting edge animation software that Pixar threw away in the early 90's. But Clay and I did both laugh when the big chimp slipped on the banana peel on the treadmill. Can't help it; Monkeys=Funny.