Lewis, the Rescue Dog

On Good Friday, we loaded the family in the van (or as I've started calling it "Jughead") for a trip to the wilds of Northwestern Pennsylvania to the Pekingese Rescue that Nancy found. She has decided that for her ##th birthday (I'm not allowed to divulge the exact number under penalty of death), she wanted a dog; a little dog. Everyone else in our family has dogs that resemble Shetland Ponies more than dogs, so almost any dog is a small dog. My criteria is a bit different and cruder. If the dog's poops are bigger than mine (and that's saying something), I don't want it .

Anyway, we get the dog from the rescue; which is a whole other blog post; and make it home. He's a sweet, quiet dog (except for his snoring) and he's checked out "A-OK" with the vet, had a bath and a trim. After close to a week, I'm happy we got the perfect dog for us.

Clay has been telling everyone he knows that Lewis is a "rescue dog". We told him how another family had Lewis who's new baby was allergic to him and that he was given to the Pekingese rescue. We then found him and brought him into our family. Then yesterday I heard Clay telling our neighbor about Lewis being a "rescue dog". It wasn't until I did a double take and really started listening to him that I found out what Clay thought a "rescue dog" was.

"Lewis is a Rescue Dog!", says Clay.

"What does that mean?", asks his friend.

"You know, a Rescue Dog. He helps people and other animals and he can talk to them."

"What?!"

"Well, you know, he talked to the Easter Bunny the other day. He told him that he liked his new family. The Easter Bunny wrote us a letter and told us", says Clay.

"Cool!"

"Yea, so whenever an animal needs help, Lewis the Rescue Dog will be there."

Now, I think we need to get a cape and a mask for Lewis to protect his identity.

Twittering in the Soviet Union

It's been a while since I posted anything although I've been Twittering a lot. Twittering is easier; 144 characters at a time to spew my brilliance. Also, as I told Nancy, it's kind of like the ham radio of the 21st century (and that comes from me, a ham, K4MTS). So I can either go downstairs and fire up the Kenwood and chat with a bunch or random strangers or I can open up the iPhone and pretty much do the same thing. It's always kind of funny to see people comment on the the same things you are watching or doing; Like Julie Balogna's electric wardrobe, Evgeni Malkin's latest goal, your hatred of pigeons, or your love of Sonic Diet Cherry Lime-aids.

Twittering is a nice distraction and it even helps helps me learn something every now and again. Occasionally I get on a tear about something I find hugely amusing. My latest was, "What would it be like if they had Twitter in the former Soviet Union?" I know, what the hell's wrong with me sometimes. Anyway, I blame it on my muse. You know that unseen spirit that guides poets, musicians and other creative types. Well, my muse can be seen and it looks like a jelly donut from Kuhn's Grocery.

So I blame my ramblings on a sugar high I get from these delectable delicacies. So in case you missed it on Twitter the other day here's what it would have been like if the was Twiiter in the CCCP.

ComradeWiper #Soviet Tweetup: Bulgarian Toilet Paper distributed tonight at 22.30 on the corner of Marx and Engles. Maybe Czech blue jeans too!

LeoLaporteski I get my new Soviet laptop today. Only weights 42Kg! Runs on 2 Lada batteries and blood of the proletariat. But hey, it have Vista on it!

IHeartStalin @ComradeLenin still looking good in glass box.

CCCP-1 TV What fits into Russia? You think Texas big?!? Puny Texas fit into Russia!

LonelyInIrkutsk @EastGermanFemaleWeightlifting Team look H-O-T! Helga Brundenwalder need a little shave, tho.

SteveJobovich CentralComputerPlanning group announce BelongsToTheStatePhone. 30,000,000 Rubles and 20yr. wait list. Party members only. Sorry dissidents!

KGB_GuyKawasaki Decadent Imperialist Twitterers invited to Tweetup at Lubianka Prison. Tell wife to no wait up for you. Bring winter coat.

KGB_Guy Krap, no 3G in gulag, only EDGE. I bet no FiOS here either.

MiG_Pilot63 Today is birhtday of Soviet brothers Arvill & Vilber Aeroplansky, inventors of airplane.

Pravda_CCCP Everything invented in Russia; telephone, car, Windows Vista, electric light, despair, wheel, identical concrete apartments. Everything!

Pravda_CCCP OK, not everything. Imperialist Al Gore invent Internet.

7 Reasons why being a Pirates fan won't be so bad this year

#7 Suck has a shelf life. Let's hope our expired 10/1/2008.

#6 Bringing back the goofy "pillbox" hat. The other teams won't be laughing at us, they'll be laughing with us. OK, so, they really will be laughing at us.

#5 Since Xavier Nady was traded to the Yankees, we don't have to put up the annoying chick down the first base line who waved her pirate flag and crossed her arms into an "X" every time Nady was on the field.

#4 Won't have to remember how to spell Mientkiewicz.

#3 Still have that 6th Super Bowl "high".

#2 Pirates applied for Federal Disaster Assistance Program and were accepted. President Obama to tour area of devastation (PNC Park) by air this spring. Reportedly will call this "The worst disaster in our nation since the 1977 Tampa Bay Bucs".

#1 If by some miracle; and by miracle I mean a sure sign of the apocalypse; the Buccos make it to the World Series, our boy-Mayor won't have to change his name to "Piratestahl"

Twitter-ific

I haven't posted much lately. Why? Laziness, sickness, taxes and Twitter. If you don't know what Twitter is; Google "Stephen Fry BBC interview". That'll give you an idea. Recently, after feeling un-Twitterific for about 7 months, I've started Twittering again. It's a great way to share my worthless ramblings, 140 letters at a time. It allows me to vent, be a smart ass and share things without having to set aside a time to blog. Half the time, by evening, I forgot what I was going to blog about. Sometimes, I feel that I should expand on my "tweets". But for now, I'll split my musings between blogging and twittering; so please feel free to sign up for a Twitter account, if you haven't already, and follow along.

Must have been some damn good cheese

OK, I think this story is hilarious, especially since it happened at the grocery store where my folks have shopped for almost 50 years. Here's the story:

"CR and her 23-year-old daughter fought two MyHomeTown men trying to steal her purse after she had loaded groceries into her pickup and left the door open in the parking lot of the local Mom & Pop Grocery. CR screamed out, “Give me my purse back!” and before Loser #1 could shut his door, she had jumped into the passenger side to get it back. Loser #1 sat on the purse refusing to let go, but CR, hanging halfway out of the vehicle, said she had a good grip on the straps. Loser #2, who was driving, began backing out of the parking lot, dragging CR's feet along the pavement.

CR’s daughter had left the store a few minutes after her mother and heard her mother’s cries for help. Her daughter then jumped into the car and began tussling with Loser #1, who bit her finger. Daughter bit Loser #1’s ear. The mother and daughter fought with the losers until police arrived."

Here's the best part of the story, in my opinion; even better than biting the dude's ear.

"Loser #1 was most recently charged with possession of drug paraphernalia and theft after attempting to leave the same Shop ’n Save with $13.47 worth of cheese in his pockets."

I'm not sure I could fit $13.47 worth of cheese in my pockets. Maybe it was a fine imported Gouda or Edam or maybe Jarlsberg. Either way, it must be some damn good cheese.

Black & Gold

Yesterday was the day for the Steelers first playoff game against the Chargers. We planned our own little watching party here at Magnus Domus. I made a huge pot of chili, Nancy made cookies and we fired up the old Philco HD. Last August, we bought our own Terrible Towel at the one and only Steeler game (I prefer HD to "being there"... my bathroom is cleaner at home and there is less of a line). After we bought ours, my mom said, "We could have given you ours. It's packed away in the garage somewhere". Just a side note. Their Terrible Towel was the one that was hung up in their bar from 1975 until they sold the place 8 years ago. I remember sometime around 1984 climbing up a ladder to take it down and clean it. It was like Towel Jerky; completely inflexible, saturated with nicotine and not anything near yellow. I would have taken it down then, if it weren't for the towel shaped "shadow" left on the wall. So there it remained for another 15 years.

So, I thought our investment in a new Terrible Towel (TT) was worth it.

Anyway, I hang up the TT and the inflatable "Steeler Hammer" which remained inflated exactly long enough for Drew to beat Clay over the head with it twice. After recovering, Clay decides that he need to help "decorate" too. He roams around the house looking for anything and everything black and gold. He then lines them up on the fireplace next to the TT. First a yellow pen; then a Pirates baseball; then a SpongeBob Etch-a-Sketch; then various Tonka trucks; then the remote controlled Wall*E; then every black or gold piece of the Batcave play set. I had to put a stop to it when he wanted to complete this homage to the Steelers by bringing in the yellow folding chair and lean it up against the hearth. I appreciate his team spirit, but enough already!

It was a great game; the Steelers scored; the boys screamed; cookies were eaten; victory is ours. Today, Clay is wearing his Willie Parker shirt to school today. For the first time this year, he's all, "Yeah, I see your #7's and #86's, but today it's all #39 baby!"

SpongeBob, Batman and Wall*E are still guarding the Terrible Towel and I guess they'll stay there until early February when their job is done.

Twas the night before...

... the night before. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. All is right with my world. I hope the same for you. Merry Christmas!